So I’ve been in a panic mood most of the day. Saul and I chatted back and forth for a couple hours. Eep.

But I’m a little surprised because this practically came out of nowhere. I just happened to check his fb last night and saw he was songle, then this…what. There’s no way he knows…right?

Amanda says play it cool. I’m paranoid. My stomach was in knots and nervous for like the last 3 hours of work (plus on and off before that) and I was so useless.I was giggly and hyper like when you stay up all night — you know, how everything is funny at 3am…
What if this isn’t what I wanted after all? Guess there’s only one way to find out…

Mostly though I’m worried that he broke up with his gf because of me. Momma brought that point up and it’s been in my head ever since. :/
Also this just doesnt seem it a trick?

He didn’t text me either btw. Dunno if it just didnt come through or if he’s trying to be sneaky and get me to text first. Hmm..
Also, I’ve realized I dont have many ‘man’ books…or any really. All I can think of is Ted Dekker. I gave off the impression that I had more, oh well. Maybe he wasn’t serious? We’ll see.

I was supposed to go for Chinese food with him and Benni tomorrow night (Saul’s suggestion last week) but he can’take come because he has plans. Benni texted me and said that we’d just go another time with him and I guess it’ll be just the two of us tomorrow? I dont wanna back out on him because it’s already been pushed off like a month from the original time.. I don’t think it’ll be bad though. Benni is a trip, haha

Also, that makes me wonder…did Saul try to plan it to be the two of us and Benni, or did it just happen to work out like that? Hmm…
Makes me think back to when he asked if I had a gf a while ago. And he asked my age again yesterday, which I found odd.

Actually. I suppose I wouldn’t have really thought twice about most of those, except for the fact that I’ve been here near 7 months and only now is he actually talking to me about stuff other than work, haha. (Because my boss asked what books I read, etc. trying to get to know the employees I guess.)

Ok so yeah anyway…be cool, but not cold (I feel like I may come across that way sometimes..) I can totally do this.